Wow!

Only two months until race day!  The Ulman Half Full Triathlon is October 3rd and I can't believe how fast time is flying!!  Lots of good things to report today :-)

My weight loss is actually noticeable to other people now.  My house mate has said things like "your necklace is longer" and "your toes are scrawny!", which is her way of telling me that she can see a difference.  Coworkers are asking me if I've lost weight, so are friends that I don't see every day, and the weight on my driver license is higher than my actual weight for the first time since high school!  This is good stuff!  One thing I didn't think about related to losing weight is the cost.  I can't wear any of the clothes I could wear when this all started last year.  Even my shoes are getting too big because my feet aren't as chubby as they once were.  This is getting expensive!  But, it's so worth it to be able to have extra room in a movie theater seat or to be able to walk into a store that I am not used to being able to shop in and buy something off the rack :-)

With my brother at our grandmother's 93rd birthday in June.

Health is very good.  I had a biopsy last month and it came back clear. Such a huge relief!  My other doctor decided to do some blood tests to see how my blood sugar, cholesterol, etc are looking since I changed my diet.  They were always within the normal range but they were also always very near the high end of normal.  Now, they're right in the middle of normal and my doctors were all very pleased.  My blood pressure has even gone down to 106/75.

Training is exhausting and totally invigorating!  I love it and am super excited, and nervous, about the race.  But, fitting training into my schedule is getting harder and harder.  Luckily, I've found that I really enjoy working out.  So, that's a big help.  But, my gym is cutting back its hours and I'm not sure how I'll be able to get there when they're open.  Even if it means changing gyms, I'll find a way :-)  So, my swim workouts are now a little over a mile.  I'm swimming farther than the triathlon requires but swimming in a pool and swimming in open water are very different.  I'm trying to find a couple of friends to do a few open water swims with between now and the race in October.  I hope that some of my nervousness will go away after I get a few good swims under my belt.  Wish me luck!!

Hope you're all having a great summer!

Cindy

Great week!

Wow!  This has been a fantastic week!  I had my best swim workout ever, talked to a young woman about her weight battle and discussed cervical cancer with a complete stranger.  I'm amazed by how life works sometimes. 

While I was shopping last week my favorite sales girl mentioned that she'd noticed I've lost weight and asked me what I've been doing.  So, we chatted about body issues, what we've tried in the past to lose weight, and how we both want to learn how to eat to stay at a healthier weight.  We've both tried things like Nutrisystem and Jenny Craig and we've both gained weight back when we stopped.  Not because the programs aren't good but because the programs just give you food and tell you to eat it, they don't actually teach you how to cook for yourself later.  She and I agreed that we'd check in on each other whenever we see each other.  Should be fun to see her progress too :-)

Today I volunteered with Team in Training at the AMGEN bike race.  I had a great time seeing old friends that I completed a marathon with a few years back, met a lady who is currently going through treatment for a blood cancer, and met a woman who had cervical cancer 12 years ago.  I found this out because she said that she liked my bracelet.  It's a bracelet my best friend gave me and it's designed to represent cervical cancer.  When I told her why I had it she immediately told me her cervical cancer story and she told me that she'd always felt alone.  I'm so glad that she and I crossed paths so that she knows she's not alone.  I told her about Tamika & Friends and that she can always find information through them whenever she needs it.  I hope she'll look up the site when she gets home!

Thursday night I had my best swim workout yet.  I'm so excited!!  Before Thursday I was getting really nervous about the triathlon.  It's less than five months away and I've been having trouble getting my breathing right in the pool.  I can spend an hour on the elliptical machine but I couldn't swim 10 laps.  I'm not sure what changed but I was able to swim 36 laps without stopping any longer than it took to touch the wall and turn around.  Woo-hoo!!  That workout makes me believe that I'll be able to swim the distance during the triathlon.  And, I'm even a little excited to see how everything goes when we get there on October 3rd.  

Bye for now,

Cindy

Getting Healthier One Step at a Time

I am definitely losing weight and getting healthier but of course I have a long road ahead of me and my weight will probably always be somewhat of a struggle for me.  I wasn't always overweight and that is probably the most frustrating aspect of my weight for me now.  I gained the majority of my weight in my 30s.  I am about to turn 41 on May 18th.  There have been times over the last ten years that I have beat myself up inside wondering how did I let myself gain all of the weight that I have.  I have forgiven myself  for the weight gain and now my focus is to lose what I can sensibly and safely while getting healthier.

I think many of us, especially women, are not always completely satisfied with the way we look.  Some of us think we are too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, wish we could change a certain body part, etc.   A very wise person recently told me that to truly bring about change that you first have to accept who you are and what you have been given.  I have always had a more endowed butt, even when I was slimmer.  I use to want to change that...wished I had a smaller one.  I have learned over the years to accept what I have been given and work with it instead of against it.  I will probably never have a small behind, but with determination and dedication, I am hoping I can get more trim, fit, and healthier!! 

So many people have been very support of the challenges that I have been facing in trying to lose weight and get more fit.  They have said such things as "Don't give up" and "Keep up the good work".  Others have been negative and at times down right insensitive.  I know that I am over weight...I know that I need to lose weight...I don't need negative people telling me that I can't do it.  Maybe I can't, but it is only me that truly can decide what I can or can't accomplish.  

Being a cancer survivor, I feel like I have already won the race because I am still here on this earth.  Everything else is the icing on the cake.  Spending quality time with my two great kids, hanging with my friends and family, working on getting healthier and living life to its fullest is truly a gift.  I have lost too many family members and friends to cancer in recent years.  It is a disease that I have come to despise and hope that one day will be eradicated.  My biggest reason for wanting to lose weight and get heathier is not to fit into a certain size of a dress, or look more glamorous.  I want to LIVE and I know that there are no guarantees in life, but I also know that being healthier is helpful.

I would love moral support during this life altering journey and don't even mind the occasional "kick in the butt" to jump start my motivation if you think that I need it.  I don't need hurtful comments though.  We all have goals and things that we are working on and none of us are perfect.  I have not walked in your shoes and you have not walked in mine. 

I have posted a picture of the slimmer me for comparison...physically I have changed but in many ways I am still that younger, trimmer me.  I am still full of life, energetic and enthusiastic.  I still have a sense of humor and love to explore new places.  I am still hard working and have strong ethics.  I am still generous, kind, and compassionate.  I am also still stubborn and determined.  All of these things make me who I am...fat or slim!!! 

Have a good weekend everyone and don't give up on your own goals and dreams!!!

Pam :)

Good News!

Well, that's how the email from my doctor started out anyway. I've never gotten biopsy results back this quickly. It only took 2 days! The biopsy was clear. No cancer and absolutely nothing abnormal!! It's hard to put how excited I am into words right now but I can definitely tell you that I haven't stopped smiling yet.

I hope that you all have a fantastic weekend!!

~Cindy

Spring has sprung!!

This is by far my favorite time of year, even if it does mean itchy eyes and a runny nose from all of the allergies. Working in San Francisco, I get to see the city come to life.  People get outside for walks or jogs during their lunch breaks and I get motivated to be outside and to be moving. 

This is a good thing for the survivor slim down because I’m very motivated to spend my evenings at the gym, in the swimming pool, or walking my dog.  I spend very little time at home and have honestly had to force myself to stay home tonight to write this blog.  But, there were things to share about my progress so it’s okay to skip one evening of activity :-)

The plateau I mentioned in my last post – it’s driving me crazy!!  I can’t stand this anymore and can’t quite figure out how to fix the problem.  I encountered this once before when I did Jenny Craig back in 1999.  I lost a bunch of weight, was going to the gym, and then quit losing weight all together.  My advisor’s response?  She told me to stop cheating.  I’ll admit, I have cheated this time.  I went wine tasting with friends last weekend, did some emotional eating last week when my great aunt lost her battle with cancer, and when I had a bunch of stuff to deal with at work.  But, this emotional eating was by no means a binge.  I ate 2 candy bars in one day and had fast food once that week.  Yes, that’s cheating.  Most people I know can get away with that little bit of cheating and see no repercussions.  Unfortunately for me, my metabolism can’t take it.

Today was biopsy day for me.  I can’t believe how quickly the last 4 months have flown by… which honestly makes me nervous about how quickly the next 5 ½ will go between now and the triathlon!  Biopsies are always hard.  They bring back emotions that I want to forget and memories that I wish weren’t there.  It’s not just the physical pain of having a biopsy that’s hard to get through.  Now, there is the waiting.  It could take anywhere from 3 days to 4 weeks to get the results back.  The waiting stinks!  However, I went into this biopsy with hope and a positive outlook and I truly feel that those things will have an impact on the results.  Keeping my fingers crossed for negative results!!

Happy Spring everyone!!  Don’t forget to enjoy the beauty that’s all around you.  Life is too short not to stop and smell the roses once in a while (even if it means that you’ll need a tissue later!)

Bye for now…

Cindy

Plateaus, Positive Reinforcement, Cancerversaries, and Fertility… Oh my!!!

This has been an eventful month!  I hit my first weight loss plateau and haven’t lost any pounds in over a month.  But, I’m trying not to let that get to me because I’m still seeing changes in my body, still seeing things get smaller, and still noticing more room in my clothes.  Working out is definitely paying off!  Not only can I walk up a flight (or 3) of stairs without losing my breath but I actually had a positive flying experience when I went to DC for Cervical Cancer Day on the Hill in January. If you’ve been paying attention to TMZ, or Twitter, lately you know that Kevin Smith (AKA Silent Bob) was removed from a Southwest Airlines Flight because of his weight. This is something that every overweight person I know fears.  We also fear that we’ll need seatbelt extenders, that the tray won’t open all the way because our bellies are in the way, that our hips won’t fit between the armrests… and the one that I really hate is the fear that other passengers will give us dirty looks, all the way down the aisle, until we find our seats and the person who will be sitting next to us lets out a disgusted sigh and mutters things about fat people on planes under their breath.  Yes I’ve experienced some of these things on airplanes and yes they suck.  However, on the flights that I took to and from DC I didn’t experience any of these things.  No one sneered at me as I walked through the plane or when I went to sit next to them and my hips fit between the arm rests (and the arm rests didn’t pop up at all!!).  Even though the flights themselves were delayed and completely nightmareish it was a beautiful thing to actually be comfortable on an airplane.  And, it was positive reinforcement to keep working out and to keep trying to get, and stay, more fit.

Today, March 2^nd, is the fifth anniversary of my cancer diagnosis.  It’s something that many of us refer to as a “cancerversary”.  This is a big one for me as a lot of people tend to feel that you’re just a little bit safer when you can hit that five year milestone without a recurrence.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll have many more, like decades worth, of these cancerversaries without recurrence of any kind of cancer.  Today was also the day that I met with my fertility doctor to see if all of these biopsies have been worth it and to see if I can actually have children.  The answer is yes. I can have children.  It was kind of cool to look at the ultrasound and have him show me how many eggs I have in my ovaries.  But then there are the negatives and the questions that come along with having had cervical cancer.  Cervical cancer almost always takes a woman’s fertility from her whether it’s from a radical hysterectomy, radiation and chemo, or the removal of so much of her cervix that she can’t get pregnant without a doctor’s help or carry a child to term (or even close to term).  Now I need to make more difficult decisions and decide how much risk I’m willing to take.  This risk question and “you need to do something soon” seem to be common themes with all of the doctors in my life lately.  I need to decide if I want to wait for Prince Charming to come sweep me off my feet, if that and getting pregnant can happen within the next three years, if I want to be a single mom and buy a “man in a can” (as my doc called it today) from a fertility clinic, if I want to freeze my eggs and hope that they’re viable when I want to use them, or if I want to give up hope of ever having my own child by having a hysterectomy now to reduce the risk of a cancer recurrence.  This isn’t an easy decision to make.  Today is a day that’s brought both smiles and tears – tears because of fear of the unknown and smiles because of the wonderful people in my life and the strength they give me every day. 


Hope that you have lots of reasons to smile :-)
~Cindy

Striving for wellness in 2010!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!  I still can't believe that 2009 has ended and that it is already the 7th of January.  Where did last year go??  Well, there are now only ten months to the big event and I must admit that I am getting a little nervous.  I feel that I am on the right track with my goal of losing weight and getting fit, but that I definitely need to ramp it up if I am going to be able to complete my part of the big race.  My biggest concern is letting down my team mates and of course letting down myself. 

The path to better health and wellness is not an easy one and it does have its obstacles and challenges.  I have discovered during this journey that I am stronger than I thought I was and that I have more will power than I knew.  I have also discovered that losing weight is not about dieting but about making lifestyle changes.  It is about eating at home more and eating out less.  It is about really thinking about what I am going to eat each day and making good choices. 

A challenge for me is balancing work, my children and life in general with the need to excercise more.  I know that I need to incorporate more time for excercise, and I realize that means thinking more about me sometimes.  I am a cargiver by nature and by profession.  I tend to do things for others, but not always make time for myself.  My goal for this year (not a New Year's resolution because I don't believe in those) is to take the necessary time I need to increase my physical activity.

I am looking forward to the next ten months to see how much I can accomplish with my weight loss and fitness goals.  I hope that you will continue to follow the Slimdown Team's journey along the way.  I welcome helpful suggestions and supportive insight.

Pam :)