This has been a really busy week! Thanksgiving was last Thursday and, even with the holiday gatherings, I lost a pound last week. Woo-hoo! My plan of everything in moderation worked quite well… so did the extra gym time to work off any extra calories ;-)
Another thing happened on Thanksgiving that I hadn’t planned on – I “outed” myself as a cervical cancer survivor to my Granny and two cousins. This is something that Tamika and I have talked about on multiple occasions as I only told my immediate family and close friends about my diagnosis at first. I was too scared of what was happening and didn’t want to worry anyone else unnecessarily. So, I kept my diagnosis to myself and never told either of my grandmothers, aunts and uncles, or cousins. Both of my grandmothers are worriers and I knew that the news would raise too much concern for either of them. When I picked Granny up to take her to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving dinner I asked her if she’d ever wondered why I am so involved with cervical cancer organizations and she had. So, before we drove off I explained the whole thing to her. Having lost a sister and an aunt to ovarian cancer my diagnosis hit very close to her heart. She was glad that I didn’t tell her early on because she too knew that she’d have worried herself to death and she’s very glad to know that my doctor is on top of things, being very proactive in trying to prevent a recurrence. I have a lot more family members to tell in the next year and I anticipate that many of those conversations will be challenging. But, if I can tell people I’ve never met about my experiences I owe it to my family to tell them myself.
Today I had an appointment with my OB Gyn. I see her every four months and have seen her at least that often since my diagnosis. She’s very proactive with my treatment and I tell her every time I see her how thankful I am for that. I do not, however, thank her for the pain she inflicts on me during every visit. The biopsies that I have are called “Endocervical Curettage” (ECC for short). This means that she is removing tissue from my cervical canal. In my experience the numbing shots that they can give don’t numb the cervical canal so I’ve given up asking for them. Today was NOT a good biopsy day for my cervix. As soon as the doctor told her nurse that my cervix was moving away from her I knew what was coming… I’m not sure what it’s called but it’s like a speculum for your cervix and it really hurts when they use it. Imagine having a charlie horse that’s making every muscle in your abdomen tie themselves in knots. That’s what happens to me when they use this torture device (BLECH!). Thankfully, the procedure only takes about five minutes and then I get to lay on the table for another five minutes to make sure that I’m okay to get up. I passed out from the pain once, the first time I had an ECC after having a cervical conization procedure, and she’s pays very close attention to me now. I guess that having a patient pass out mid procedure is not a good thing ;-) Now I get to wait up to three weeks for my results, which is sheer torture. Every time I think about it I remember the phone call that started with “are you somewhere you can talk” and all of the emotions of that challenging time come flooding back to me. So, I focus on family, friends, work, and fun to try to keep my mind from going too far down that path. Fingers crossed for a good result!!
I hope that all of you had as many things to be thankful for as I have. Even with challenges and frustrations life is a beautiful thing :-)
