Striving for wellness in 2010!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!  I still can't believe that 2009 has ended and that it is already the 7th of January.  Where did last year go??  Well, there are now only ten months to the big event and I must admit that I am getting a little nervous.  I feel that I am on the right track with my goal of losing weight and getting fit, but that I definitely need to ramp it up if I am going to be able to complete my part of the big race.  My biggest concern is letting down my team mates and of course letting down myself. 

The path to better health and wellness is not an easy one and it does have its obstacles and challenges.  I have discovered during this journey that I am stronger than I thought I was and that I have more will power than I knew.  I have also discovered that losing weight is not about dieting but about making lifestyle changes.  It is about eating at home more and eating out less.  It is about really thinking about what I am going to eat each day and making good choices. 

A challenge for me is balancing work, my children and life in general with the need to excercise more.  I know that I need to incorporate more time for excercise, and I realize that means thinking more about me sometimes.  I am a cargiver by nature and by profession.  I tend to do things for others, but not always make time for myself.  My goal for this year (not a New Year's resolution because I don't believe in those) is to take the necessary time I need to increase my physical activity.

I am looking forward to the next ten months to see how much I can accomplish with my weight loss and fitness goals.  I hope that you will continue to follow the Slimdown Team's journey along the way.  I welcome helpful suggestions and supportive insight.

Pam :)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!  Welcome 2010 :-)

It’s been a while since my last post.  So sorry about that… and about the fact that this may end up being a long one.  A lot has happened since my last post.

I’m a little disappointed with myself that I fell short of my weight loss goal for the end of the year.  I’d aimed at 20 pounds by 12/31/2009 and lost 19.  Not too far off but I was a little disappointed.  I did fall into the rut of emotional eating, which I now can totally recognize when I’m doing it, in the middle of December.  If I hadn’t, I probably would have reached my goal.  But, now that I know when I’m doing it I can be proactive about stopping it and focusing on something else to work through hard times.  And, it probably helps that I don’t keep any sort of snack food or junk food in the house anymore!

Last time I was here I wrote about my most recent biopsy, which I went into with a deep down horrible feeling.  Well, my feeling was confirmed when my doctor informed me that the sample had been “sent to Stanford for further evaluation”.  This is never a good thing when it comes to these biopsies.  So, I went on an amazing trip with Tamika, Pam, and about 150 other people in mid December with a heavy heart (I’ll tell you about the trip later).  On 12/17 I got one of those phone calls from my doctor that starts with “are you somewhere you can talk” which I know never leads to something that I want to hear.  She informed me that the biopsy was abnormal and that she wants me to be as aggressive as I possibly can be at this point, suggesting a hysterectomy now or, at the very least, another cone biopsy with a D&C (dilate and curettage).  Wow!  Really???  I’m thinking – you didn’t say cancer, you just said abnormal.  The pathology report said “Cannot definitively provide a benign diagnosis”.  It didn’t say cancer!!! The Gyn Oncologist originally said that I had 10 years until I should have a hysterectomy, unless the cancer came back, and it hasn’t even been 5.  I’m scared, angry, confused…spinning.  I’ve been here before and I need to get out of this mindset so that I can think clearly.  I need to talk to my Gyn Oncologist and my survivor sisters.  They’ll know what to do!  I contacted the ladies that night, spilling all of my fears and uncertainties into a Facebook message.  These women are amazing!  The amount of love and support that I’ve received from them, some of whom I’ve only met once or twice, is incredible.  I’m lucky to have all of them in my life.  They helped me see things through their experiences and the message string went back and forth for quite a while.  And, after almost 2 weeks, I got to go visit with my Gyn Oncologist.  I feel much better about things after talking through everything with him.  I know that he’d prefer that I have a hysterectomy before invasive disease appears but, for now, I will get to keep my uterus.  I’m starting work with a fertility clinic to find out if I can even have children, which is the sole reason for my not having a hysterectomy yet.

So, this amazing trip that Tamika, Pam, and I went on took us to a place that I’d never have the opportunity to go to on my own.  US Oncology has a conference every year called Life Beyond Cancer.  We had an opportunity of a lifetime to connect with other cancer survivors, stay at an amazing resort, get spa treatments, and learn new things about advocacy and different types of cancer and the experiences that they lead to.  We all know so much about what we’ve gone through and so little about the journeys of others.  It was an amazing experience!  We even went to Anita’s Beat Cancer Boot Camp, which totally kicked our booties!!  Seriously, my calves were so sore that I couldn’t actually straighten my legs for 4 days!  I loved it!  The healing ceremonies, the speakers, the food, and the activities were wonderful and, although there was very little down time during our visit, I went home revitalized and refreshed.  I’ll stop now so that I leave something for Tamika and Pam to write about  in their next posts.

I hope that each of you has a healthy, happy, prosperous, and love filled 2010 ahead!

Cindy